been awhile...

It's been awhile since I've posted. I've been avoiding writing. When I sit down and actually put my thoughts on paper..or the computer.. it makes me really think. I try to avoid my feelings for the most part but when I start writing there's no ignoring them.

feelings

feelings go from here to there
can't seem to get it right
i think of you all day
but it's not the same at night
my feelings change
my insight is new
how can i describe this
i need to be renewed

come restore me
come complete me
come fee me
come know me

soul mates?

Do you think people have soul mates? Can you really talk to a person one time and know that they're your soul mate? Or does it take some time? If it does take some time to know that you're soul mates, then why did it take so long? Shouldn't you just know when you meet them?

......

I never said thank you
I never showed you I cared
I never thought of you
I didn't even dare

I knew you'd break me
I knew you'd run
I knew you'd say the word
And then you'd be done

After all these years
And all these thoughts
Did you think of me
was I the one you sought

I'll always remember you
I can still feel your touch
I hope you know
That I loved you very much

Been thinking...

Derrick getting off laid off is turning out to be wonderful. Not only do we get more family time but also more alone time. I'm having feelings for him that I haven't in awhile. I feel like I did when we first met. I guess you could say I'm falling in love with him all over again.

Looking on the bright side

Since Derrick got laid off I've went through a ton of emotions. I've been pissed, hurt, fearful, scared, sad, excited, and those are just a few. When he called me to tell me he got laid off I didn't have any emotion. When he got home and he was pissed off I comforted him told, him it'd be ok, and just let him go through his emotions. All I could do was to be a supportive wife and give him all the love I could. I didn't get pissed and I didn't cry until he went to bed that night. The next morning I decided I needed to look at the bright side of the situation. He'll be home more so that means more family time. He can finally finish painting the bathroom and doing all the things on his "honey do" list lol Ivy will get to go to preschool without us worrying about how to pay for it. We'll be able to spend more quality time with each other and rekindle our realtionship. It's not the idea situation but I have to make the best of it.

Black and White pictures